Adoption and Who's On Top-

I am in the midst of editing an anthology on motherhood. It suffices to say that I was tired of reading motherhood books that while interesting, did not touch on the issues that that were of concern to my peers and friends such as raising intellect and conscious children of color; negotiating the privilege that our educations and incomes afford us; or dealing with the notion that we are among the invisible working poor; and trying to balance nurturing ourselves, our marriages/relationships while also trying to raise healthy and happy children.

One of the topics that has come to light in the process is adoption. While it's fairly well accepted that White babies are the most desireable and older, Black boys the least...I was somewhat taken aback at how parents are also categorized. Young, married affluent couples are at the top of the "wanted" list while older and working class are near the bottom. Gay women fair better than gay men, but not by much if they are out lesbians. The willingness of a family to open their home to a child seems to get factored somewhere way down the list...even being overweight can be a liability to getting a child. No wonder so many people continue to hightail it abroad to adopt.

From a practical matter I can understand that there would be a hesitancy to place children with a family that is destitute. It also makes sense that placement organizations want parents to have a reasonable chance of seeing the child through adulthood. However under the best circumstances fortunes go bust and people can die suddenly.

Personally I would prefer that adoptive parents be subject to psychological testing than means testing. There are indeed wealthy nuts---so maybe the reason why someone wants to adopt should be scrutinized more than the applicant's finances. I am also a little bothered by the issue of age. Given that people are living longer and healthier lives maybe it's time to raise the bar a lit. Someone who I know has been turned down as an adoptive parent because at 45 is deemed too old. This is someone who very well educated, married, has a geniune love for children, has been a community activist for years and has a strong faith. Although doctors will help a 50 year old woman have a child through medical technology, a 45 year old woman is considered too old to care for baby? She and her husband can go through private adoption, but the likelihood that a Black baby is coming from that path is a little slim.

For centuries, Black folks have taken in the children of friends, relatives and neighbors and cared for them as their own. However while this informal adoption has its merits, it also has its limitations--namely since the person is not the child's legal guardian the caretaker--whether is aunt, uncle, grandmother or neighbor is not eligible for a range of social services to support them and the child.

I am not an expert on adoption---it's an area that I intend to do some research on. However given the large number of children, particularly Black children who are languishing in foster care, perhaps it is time to look at ways to not only expand the criteria for eligible parents but also make the adoption process easier and emotionally draining.